Making some wildly inaccurate assumptions about your mother’s mental state, you choose to await her arrival home from her job as a Dental Hygienist, seat her down before she has a chance to change out of her scrubs, and lay some heavy shit on her spittle filled day. Turns out she is less forgiving and forgetful than you’d imagined, and she totally flips the fuck out!
“YOU WERE A MISTAKE!” She squeals in an unearthly wail as she reaches into her scrub pocket to find some disturbing implement of the dental trade forgotten there during her long day. She lunges at you flailing manically. Suddenly thankful that you minored in Scandinavian Self-Defense in university, you naturally grab her wrist, utilizing her own momentum against her to flip her over your head, and through the plate glass window leading outside to the backyard. The Earth Angels, now famished after the long interval between their appetizer and the anxiously awaited main course, swarm and strip your mother of every scrap of flesh on her body, leaving a perfect set of chompers on a bloodless skeleton.
“Hmmm….” You think to yourself. Talk about choices!




If you choose to telephone les Polices and beg for leniency while decrying self-defense and accidence turn to page TRIAL OF THE CENTURY!


If you instead decide that you have just been granted a gift far more powerful than the Earthly legal powers of human society and decide to control these Earth Angels as the gift from heaven they are in a bid to over-throw the entire corrupt human society, turn to page HERE WE GO!!!!


If you choose to simply turn your mother’s bones into a grisly scarecrow you place in her already destroyed garden as a tribute to all she knew and loved, turn to page PSYCHO!