"What, you want to fuck me now?" the literate voice implores.
"No! I want you to fuck right the hell off and let ME make my OWN CHOICES! This entire format is a complete fucking fraud. You're just using my suspension of disbelief to force me into awkward and uncomfortable situations I wouldn't normally find myself in. In fact; I suspect that you are publishing via some form of inter-dimensional internet exactly which paths I make along with my name and date of birth, and you and all your donkey friends are laughing your goddamn cloacas off at what morons we all appear to be following along your pathetic little linear streams. Infinite Pathways to Adventure MY ASS!!! It's an illusion of free-will that I'm not inclined to buy. This is the most constrictive" air quotations fly mockingly from your fingers, "'art-form' I've ever 'experienced'. The lack of imagination, or believable relatability of this 'piece' has me less personally engaged than the episodes of Dorah I watched with my niece last month."
"AH!" the in-corporeal voice yelps. Clearly it has been wounded by your cutting, yet ultimately accurate verbiage. The sky begins to take on a pulpy appearance before a torrent of tears rain from above.
"Jeebus", you mutter. Feelings of pity begin to over-come you. "Look, it's... I'm sorry, it's been fun okay. I'm just a bit sensitive about the whole thing. I really would like to get my life back on track you know. I have this crippling student debt to deal with, and no matter how flippantly you deal with the problems of our world, there really are people suffering here. People freezing outside and starving to death on the streets. I'd really like to do something about that, and having to debate with a semi-retarded teenage clerk is really not helpful to anyone. Is there anyway we can get this ship back on course here?"
Sniff sniff, sob, sniff. "Okay.... okay..... look, I've got an idea. Here's something right here. It's just a tiny piece, but if you could find the others... really, you might be able to seize control of this reality here. Look. It's a shard of the Cockamono gem, it's serious shit, really. Take it. I get that you aren't really on board with this whole Earth Angel thing. You're skeptical; I get it. But really, I only meant to educate you on the amazing potential of all that nourishing protein you trudge over everyday without thought. This really is the future. If you can't believe me though, you have every right to reset your time-line and take another crack at things. Keep this piece with you though. Tuck it into your tunic and never speak of it again.... until you find all four pieces..... and then.......
