Well you're a miserable cunt aren't you? Really? You want to wallow in the mire of depression? You CHOOSE this? You know, many people don't even have that choice. Cursed with a chemical imbalance of doom, how dare you literally opt for that unfortunate disposition? You get that this format of choosing one's own adventure is a form of fantasy right? You get to live out all the wacky adventures you are likely to never have in your drab, plain, miserably typical life... you understand that right? Look... here's what I'll do for you... if you're really that boring that you'd read an adult themed adventure book and CHOOSE to be depressed, if you are really that miserable a piece of boring shit, I'll give you this... a shard of the sacred Cockamono Gem. They are extremely rare. Amongst the infinite branching paths that make up the multiple universes of the Ballad of a Worthless Generation Umlauter... coming into being with every choice you make, there are only With this mystic artifact of cosmic congruence, you immediately reset your timeline back to the beginning of your amazing adventures. All sucks into a singularity, and then exhales back into your mother's basement, bored, scared, and depressed at your worthless meaningful life... able to start over and make BETTER CHOICES!