"Oh Oh Oh! Mommy's going to be so proud!" You think as you race towards the shower with your special bucket sloshing around spilling drops of corrosive liquid onto the carpet beneath you. Bursting through the door, you kick aside the shower curtain screaming, "Look at me mom! I'm a big boy now!" as you proceed to down in one heroic gulp the contents of the bucket. Luckily it burns like hell to synnergistically enhance the scorching of your retinas as you stare at your naked mother lathered up and down with soap suds.
"Dear god you sack of shit! How am I supposed to make this look like a legitimate suicide if you're doing it right in front of me! Christ! A clean fucking start to life without a worthless sack of shit like you leeching off me and making my basement smell like rotten jizz, feet, and corn chips. You have to come up here and complicate that shit." She kicks you in the ribs and sends you teetering backwards, falling hard onto the floor.
"SHIT!!! CHILD I FORGOT TO NAME!!! DON'T KILL YOURSELF!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU BASTARD!!!" She yells loudly, yet unconvincingly at the top of her lungs. She then turns towards you, and in a quieter, and more sincere voice says, "I hope the neighbours heard that. Now don't vomit too much son, you want to grow up big to be a real man right? You gotta keep your medicine down." As she kneels next to you.
"I'm going to make you so proud mommy," you manage to whisper in between blood and vomit filled coughs, "I'm going to be a wrestler mommy... a big strong wrestler."
"Shhhh Shhhh Shhhh.... I know hunny. Now try not to talk." she softly whispers in your ear, "OH MY GOD!!! DEAR GOD!!! MY CHIIIIIILD!" She screams, once again unconvincingly. As she softly places her hand over your mouth her floppy, dripping, unclothed breasts brush against your face.
"Finally..." you mumble through her fingers. "I am a man."