Wow. What a joy it was to rub your parts unknown. You'd forgotten what it was like to use that filthy thing. It's been so long since another human's touched it, that one time, which was far too costly an expense on your non-existent budget. Maybe this is the answer to life, universe, and the all of everything. Cosplay wanking! Forget about having to rub your naughties all over oiled up 'roid heads in the ring. Maybe you could save up and buy a few more costumes. Mirror wanks are the wave of the future! Once you get a good Dorah costume, you likely won't even need to keep spending more money on splooge suits. You have always secretly dreamed of insectual sex, but that would just be crazy right? How would that even work? Like are you an insect getting inseminated, or like, a human banging an Earth Angel? It doesn't make sense, but an Umlauter has to dream right? Oh well, maybe in an alternate universe you can attain all that your heart desires, in this one here, trying to skeet right into your third eye should be enough to keep you satisfied.