As you resume platonically spacing out to the heavenly music, you realize it's impossible to focus on the secret message contained within. The siren song of sweet gorgeous Penguins is far too much for your mortal mind. You grab your trusty I-Borg-device and find a website dedicated to swooning tunes your grandparents used to dry hump to. "Oh-oh-oh-oh, Wah-ah-ah, oh-oh-oh-oh, Earth Angel, Earth Angel, will you be mine, my darling dear, love you all the time." Well so far so good, yes, you do want them to be yours, and you do love them all the time. It's like this song is reaching into the inner depths of your sub-conscious and dragging out pure truth to be tossed on the table and riffled through by all. Next line: "I'm just a fool," Wait, WHAT!? No no no! You're a frickin' scientific genius here! Why would they say that! Why would they demean your project to save humanity? CURTIS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You are upset, and uncertain if you can go on along this path of research.
You've been teased enough in your life, belittled and put down by your teachers and guardians; all authority figures really. "You'll never amount to anything! You'll always be a bum!" They'd say, "You'll never get laid fag!" You have no idea why your grandma wanted to hurt you like that. Well at least you showed her when you banged that prostitute! You know what? Maybe you should just drop this investigative research for the moment and meditate instead. You are pretty sure you learned all you needed to know in Spiritual Health 101. Now you just need a mantra, you know, this lyric sheet here has a bunch of non-sensical ooo's and aahhh's written into it, maybe if you just randomly read through these.....
" Oh-oh-oh-oh, Wah-ah-ah, oh-oh-oh-oh," well now you're starting to feel loose and limber. The judgmental scorn of the world begins to melt away, you start riffing off the random doo-wop sounds, "Aaaaaaeeeeeeeaaaaaaaa OOOOOOOOOOOO UMMMMMMMM OOOOOOO!” suddenly, something snaps, and all the Earth Angels around you begin to lock step to the vibrations of your chant. Marching around you like the hallucination from a mid 20th century child-oriented animated film. You continue the chant as they spiral around you, interlocking legs to create an impenetrable suit of insect armour. Oh! Oh! You got power now bro! But what are you going to do with it?
