You slam your mouth closed, clench your teeth, and bolt in the opposite direction. Your rage and fury seething furiously. Only your inner cowardice could possibly quell your anger enough to not lash out. Your arms flail mincingly in the wind. You begin to feel a sense of relief, crisis averted! Until something protrudes maliciously between your legs. You tumble forward, face first into the concrete, teeth shatter and splash within the puddle of face blood pouring out of your head. You painfully turn onto your back and look up, looming over you is your grandmother, smoking a sinister cigarette with her walker wedged between your feet.
"You pathetic little pussy,” she states glumly. "I didn't raise you to solve your pansy ass problems with words. And then even worse, to run away from a good old fashioned fight! Good grief! I'm ashamed to even know you!"
"To be fair Big Granny," you sputter in pain, "You didn't really raise me at all. You spent most of your time playing illegal poker in the basement of the Chinese restaurant."
"Thank God for that!" she throws her hands in the air, "I can't be blamed for your shameful displays of cowardice! Thanks for that reminder!"
Big Granny stoops down and picks up her tennis ball pronged cane. "Hey kiddies!" she shouts after your oppressors, "any of you NORMAL boys want a new granny?"
"Yay!" they all shout as they race towards her.
"Alright, there's a fresh sugar pie in it for whoever finishes off this useless lump of disappointment here!"
The children gleefully descend upon you with all their youthful wrath. Big Granny just puffs in the background and laughs. Oh, does she laugh.