“Hey! Big Granny! How would you make a pizza pocket? Like do you add the cockroach goo before or after you roast the croissants?”
Your earnest question is followed by a long silence. The gears within your grandma's brain turn slowly and almost audibly. Mumbles start to happen amidst confused sighing.... the rate of these strange sounds begin to increase until one audible and intelligible word comes barreling through the phone's receiver, “DUMBASS!” right before a loud pop is heard.
You find out later your grandmother's head actually exploded from the nonsensical idiocy of everything that you are, the sad, pathetic culmination of her loins. If it's any consolation to you, apparently what they scraped off her kitchen walls looked an awful lot like Cockroach pulp!
FACE PALM!
