“I matter!” You scream desperately in their faces. “I AM matter! We exist... we all exist! Listen! Look! LOOK!” You corral them on either side with your desperate arms. “I can force the existence of my imagination upon the realities of all the rubes in the audience. I can make them love or hate. Castrate or procreate. Anything I dream, I can manifest as physical reality, just watch!” Now, you've set up the stage for an impressive magic feat, but what could you possibly pull on them now?
“Do you see and smell before you a heap of vomitous garbage fine sirs?”
Harrold and Sal scratch their heads and drunkenly respond, “Uh, ya, gross shit dude.”
“Well..... guess what? I'm actually FULLY CLEAN, SCRUBBED AND PERFUMED! I just tricked you guys into assuming I was really covered in garbage and gross! See how amazing a wrestler I am!?”
It is at this juncture that I pause to step away from the story. Is it really my place to determine whether some rancid bullshit like that could really sway a prospective employer? There are some gullible dumb shits out there in this wild, wonderful world. Many of whom possess the capital and connections to make powerful decisions about the remainder of your previously worthless life. I will tell you with complete assurance, it's not up to me to decide the success rate of your fate. That's all you bro..... that's all up to you.....