Your fluttering consciousness settles down into a gentle bed of case law. Soft and soothing... all those ages of precedent setting documents helping ease you into any probable outcomes of any legal conundrums you might find yourself heaped upon. What legal issues could you possibly have to cope with in your life though? You lead a fairly law abiding existence in your mom's basement... oh right, that mom thing. Maybe you should use this lucid time laying in the depths of your sub-conscious to start preparing a defense for the unfortunate roach bang on your mom's corpse. Considering your lack of access to outside sources, you'll have to rely on only that which your mind has already soaked up in it's bumbling path through the universe. As such, your only legal knowledge comes of course from cheap to produce courtroom dramas. From your extensive stay in the University of Law and Blunder, you know that your only hope is to plead insanity. Surely this is your key through the tight grip of criminal culpability. Slip through those cracks kid! Now how could you possibly convince the police force of your complete and utter lunacy? OF COURSE!
You shake off your mattress of Earth Angels and roll to the grass. Finding your mother's clean bones, you slip inside her rib cage, wearing it as a sweater, you lace her leg bones through your belt. Stick her finger bones in your hair, and with twine fasten her skull as a nifty jock strap. Now: fully decorated in your mother's fashionable bones, you traipse off through the streets, humming some song from Dorah your niece previously drove you mad with. No-one could possibly hold you legally responsible now! Wait a minute... why are there so many costumed people parading around? OH SHIT! It's that fucking civic pride Halloween in the Summer contest! Shit! no one will notice your complete bat buggering insanity now! Another fail kid..... another fail.....