Okay... all you need to know are a few basic facts before you can mentally calculate exactly which angle, and how much mass you need to move with what velocity in order to put into motion the ousting of your granny. Wait, you don't just need the measurements, you need the formulas as well! Damnit! Again your education short-changed you on the facts in exchange for a presentation about how cow farts were going to incinerate the Earth. DAMNIT! Okay, you are going to have to improvise some math here. If you could expel enough CO2 out your rectum, it's entirely possible that the equal but opposite motion on your pelvis might destroy your grannie's osteo-riddled bones. Hmmm.... can you conjure the methane at will? The deep dark questions of the youthful bowel. You close your eyes and enter a meditative state wherein your consciousness begins traveling through your guts, deep into the intestinal caverns. Alight with promise and joie de vivre, your mind tickles your insides until they quake and cavitate with glee. Undulating waves of rupturing joy vibrate your insides until your anus begins to sing with the glorious melisma of a virtuoso operatic vocalist. Oh the notes you squeeze out! It is indeed a masterpiece of flatulent poetry. Your grandmother not only concedes to its beauty, she flat out faints into a pile of shattered China. Yee! What glee! You've toppled your first opponent and are on your way to bigger and better things no doubt! You stand firmly squashing the burning ember of your Granny's dropped ciggy. As you mount the heap of shattered bones that were once your vicious and evil Granny, the vantage point of all possible Lawyeristic Wrestling Personas opens up before you. What power: what might you hath unlocked! Now... if only you had the presence of mind to craft a choice!