You riffle through your mother's recipe shelf. Aeons of dusty crumbling sheafs of paper flutter through your fingers as you seek out that holy shrine of couture cheffery; hot pocket dough. Surely somewhere in here is something you could whip up to slap your cock-slop in. Coming up fruitless, you race back to the freezer to check your precious pizza pocket box once again for clues into the sacred mystery which is the dough of this esoteric pouch of pizzas. As you grasp at the packaging, underneath you notice a frozen tube rolling free amidst the stale frost. Croissant dough! Yes! Perfect! Okay! Now you just have to read the instructions on the packaging to figure out how to cook it properly. This is difficult. You've never used a stove before, microwave ovens have pretty much been your go-to machine since time immemorial. The instructions are like 4 steps long, and on top of that, to make your head scratch even harder, you have to somehow, creatively account for the Cockroach goo you are going to spread all over it! Does that happen before or after you roast this shit? Ugh! So many questions... what to do?