First thing's first. You need an Earth Angel secured in one of your make-shift test tubes.... obviously. After a few close calls, you realize you must remain absolutely still in order to trick one over into your employ. With bottle open, despite the pizza pocket chemicals swarming your brain, making a steady hand nigh impossible, you luck out and one wanders inside. You immediately screw the lid on, which reveals the unfortunate nature of your improvised test tube. It is not exactly transparent, making ocular observation impossible. Hmm... you toss that attempt to the side and proceed along a new experimental path. Can Earth Angels survive under-water? An important scientific fact you must discover. Normally you would just Alta-Vista the answer, but today you are a scientist in your father's own path! You will determine the veracity of your hypothesis yourself! But what is your hypothesis? SCIENCE IS AWESOME OBVIOUSLY! So you fill the gin b---- I mean beaker with water and dive desperately towards an unsuspecting swarm of darlings. You toss the handful in and discover in not much time at all that they do not in fact breathe underwater. That is a bit unfortunate, but science is built upon by the failures of past assumptions. Or something like that, you don't really know.
Surely much could be discovered through the emulsification of Earth Angel corpses right? Time to utilize your trusty, (and strangely stinky) new stir stick. You turn it on and toss it into your beaker. The little beauties swirl through the liquid, but don't appear to be fully emulsifying. You'll need something more aggravating to really get things mixed up, but there are some other nifty experiments you could be focusing on as well. Hmmmm.... so many choices....

If you choose to seek out that which will pulverize your dead darlings turn to page..... COCKROACH PULP!

If you instead decide to focus on scientifically discerning the burning point of an Earth Angel shell turn to page .......BUUUUUUNNNNSSSSEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!