It's elementary kid. You need to confront these beastly beings in their own dimension. Of course you do. They've been proxy playing with human destiny, it's time you reach back and start swatting them down six ways from Sunday! You race around your home and gather together all the documents you can find. Your mother's secret stash of legal deeds and wills and whatever, you raid that shit in her bedroom desk like a kid a month before Christmas. Some old outdated resumes that reference your dog walking career? Dump that in there. What's this, an old box of “Have you seen this man....” with pictures of your absentee father on them? Sure... you've given up all conscious hope on reconnecting with him anyways. Now you have some serious documentary power. You mix it all up in a cauldron of legal potency.... a blender. You dump your mother's will, deed to her house, and tax records dating back seven years into a blender and hit the button. You pour out the contents on the ground in the shape of a pentagram, but aren't too sure what sort of incantation you should utilize at this point. Hmmm.....




If you decide to spend some time researching Real Magick to determine what sort of sounds might help to transport you into the sixth dimension, turn to page...... ABRA CADABRA BOOGIE WOOGIE!


If you instead believe that time is of the essence and attempt to improvise some sort of on the spot ridiculous magic ritual, turn to page …..... IT WORKED FOR CROWLEY